The teacher becomes the student

Following the outbreak of the Covid-19 pandemic forcing us to self-isolate and basically become home school teachers, we have been mastering the skill of teaching online, recording lessons and of course communication with parents.

As a student studying towards my degree I thought that teaching online would be a breeze, I would master it within no time. Pshhh... was I kidding myself I have learnt so much about myself, my colleagues and the parents. Juggling the parents and the students is the most difficult part for me. I have even had the time to categorize them as follows:

The "I want results" mom,

She is working online all day and her child is driving her crazy because he finished his assigned work for the week and it is only Tuesday so she proceeds to harass (sorry ask) the teacher, the receptionist, the principal and the janitor what her child should do. As a teacher we get some ridiculous questions and almost none of them can be categorized as "stupid" but a parent asking what to do with their child that is bored is considered a "stupid question". Glad we all learned something...

The "I can do this" mom

Who despite her motivating title is a complete nightmare for teachers as she tells herself every morning "I am the best at this" (say it with a French accent) and believes that she is capable of not only sticking a worksheet in front of her child but go the extra mile and do her very own *off topic* lessons further confusing the already confused child. This mom thinks she is every teachers dream because she is taking over as the teacher, no mamma, we're still teachers, we just do it online now ;).

The "chilled" mom,

This mom is so unbothered by the work her child has to complete and being offspring from the chilled mom the child couldn't be bothered either. This is super fun for the teacher (not) as we ask for work that was due 2 weeks ago that wasn't even touched, it just further clarifies why we need teachers and wine, don't forget the wine;)

The"what is that?" dad,

This dad has only now discovered his child's report under their bed from last term that clearly highlights what his child needs to improve and focus on during the new term that we are 1/3 of the way through. He proceeds to contact the teacher in a panic as his child is only on level 34 of coding and according to his homework for this week he should be on level 130. Ahhh.... a teachers dream! (detect the sarcasm) The dad then communicates his lack of knowledge when it comes to using the coding app and that his child is now "steaming ahead to catch up"... Great.(eye-roll)

The "realizing" parent,

These parents have now had that light-bulb moment about the value that teachers have and how they have taken them for granted but mark their words they will never do that again (Aha), as they realize how misbehaved, unruly and distracted their child is. They communicate daily with the teacher informing them how their child's behavior is shocking and suddenly becoming concerned about this issue that was raised by the teacher in the second term of 2019.

I then thought that it would only be fair to categorize the teachers too seeing as I can relate.

The "I'm on it" teacher,

Otherwise known as the eager beaver, this teacher is ready for any form of action whether it is an online Zoom session with the principal or a quick tutorial about the body parts of an insect, this teacher is always prepared. She proceeds to be camera ready and even dresses up for her lessons to ensure that her little students feel comfortable learning from a screen. She communicates daily with the parents inquiring about her "little Mickey Mouse class".

The "technically challenged" teacher,

She has recently upgraded her phone to a Samsung and it has (drum roll please...) a touch screen so she feels that she is tech savvy, but in reality has no clue how to turn on the webcam of her computer and has somehow muted the kids on Google Classroom and needs assistance over the phone on how to fix it not knowing that the mouse needs to be on the table in order for it to move on the screen. She proceeds to distribute her worksheets that need to be made to the admin staff because they have nothing better to do than create 23 worksheets. (sarcasm alert!)

The "your probably doing nothing" teacher,

This teacher believes that every second counts as she has personally drawn up the 17 worksheets for this week and wants the children to do a recorded speech and research assignment about the secrets of the world by Friday. She "knows" that the children are probably doing nothing (they have 8 other subjects too) and therefore she can flood them with work. She is a nightmare for the admin staff as she is constantly adding new work to the D6 that needs to be updated daily.

The "millennial" teacher,

She has read every blog and has downloaded every app on her phone to make this lockdown easier for her. She keeps up to date on the students progress by expecting daily videos of them learning and sends countless links to websites that can make the learning process easier for the children. She constantly spams the Whatsapp group with "cute ideas" and motivational pictures and has recently joined TikTok hoping to use one of the dances as part of a lesson and is aspiring to become a social-media influencer while being the most Instagram worthy teacher at school.

The "what's the point" teacher,

This teacher has taken advantage of this paid vacation and lounges around at home, tanning by the pool and only logs in to the online chat to ensure her principal sees that she is "working". When asked for work or videos she claims to have sent it via email but the WiFi has been "out" for two days. This teacher is the first to complain when there is a new suggestion on how to get work to the kids and the last to respond on the Whatsapp group and simply goes with the flow not really knowing what is going on.

The point is no matter what parent or teacher you are, you are appreciated for your unique ability to bring humor into this pandemic and remind us that everyone is living their own scribbled lives.

xxx